I haved a new bloggie thingie HERE
U all comed over and seed it! OK?
I will not perch on my human’s chest in the middle of the night and stare until he wakes up.
I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and throw them up so the humans can see that I’m getting plenty of roughage.
I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then pelt right for the box of clumping cat litter. (It took FOREVER to get the stuff out of my fur.)
I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.
We will not play “Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the Plains of the Serengeti” over any humans’ bed while he is trying to sleep.
I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I forget this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the computer printer in my attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again.
I will not assume the back door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.
I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is something in it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.
I will remember that if I bite the cactus, it will bite back.
When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not necessary to check every door.
I will not play “dead cat on the steps” while people are trying to bring in groceries or else one of these days, it will really come true.
When my human plays darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt to catch them.
I will not swat my human’s head repeatedly when he is on the floor trying to do sit ups.
When my human is typing at the computer, his forearms is not a hammock.
Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.
I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my human has watched a horror movie.
I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at NOTHING after my human has watched the X-Files.
I will not drag dirty socks onto the bed at night and then yell at the top of my lungs so that my human can admire my “kill.”
I will not walk on the key board when my human is writing important adagfsg gdjag ;ln.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of my kitty and human friends, even to doggies and mousies.